NOTE: This is the first blog entry I did on my Facebook account after hearing of my dad's diagnosis. Some days, the pain is still fresh.

"You know, if it's not one thing, it's another." Gilda Radner as Roseanne Roseannadanna on Saturday Night Live

Recurring theme in my life it seems as I'm not fighting for MY life, but my Dad is. He was diagnosed this week as having inoperable pancreatic cancer which has metastasized in his liver and has about a year left. I have so many emotions about this. I don't know if it's because I 'm the oldest and have to try to keep it together but this week has been totally unreal. I apologize to any students who may have thought I was flaky this week or just wasn't myself. I haven't been.
He will start chemo treatment next Friday and we are exhausting all possible treatment options for him. (3 weeks on, 1 week off) However, he is in the latter stages of the disease. Pain management and slowing the growth of the cancer are the most important aspects we're focusing on as Daddy is in quite a bit of pain and has started losing weight. Once this is under some control, he can start gaining a little bit of weight. He's keeping high spirits and putting his life in God's hands, as we all should. He will remain working until such time as he needs to complete work from home. My youngest sister Sarah is moving back home from Wichita to offer additional support.

I can actually say all of this with a straight face and not cry thought tears threaten to spill over constantly. I'm sure people might think for awhile that I'm fragile and need to be handled carefully, but that isn't the case at all.
The worst part is how to tell my children about Grandad going to heaven. This will take so much strength, that honestly, I don't have right now.